You

There's always something
In the way
There's always something
Getting through
But it's not me
it's You

Sometime's ignorance
Rings true
But hope is not in
What I know
Not in me
It's in You

It's all I know

And I find peace
When I'm confused
I find hope when
I'm let down
Not in me
But in You

I hope to lose myself
For good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me
It's You
It's all I know

this week so far:
busy. bible blast 3. hospital attachments. futsal tournament coordinating. registration shortfalls. humility. relationship with cell boys. guitar. You. movies. plans. bird flew away.

don't really feel like talking much. so i'll just highlight stuff thats been going on around, and in my head. yes the bird flew away d.

yknow, the Bible says pride comes before a fall. lets face it, everyone in existence has pride. that emotion that tells you you deserve the spotlight. that tells you you're better than that person. that you should be the leader. anything in the reach of your power should and must be yours. can anyone identify what i'm saying?

through the strife for authority, so often we lose ourselves. we forget to come to the place where we were once are - humble. Greatness in this world defines itself through fame, power and money. whereas humility is the opposite, and both cannot be written on the same page. why do i say so? name me a great leader/person in the world now that is humble. President of USA? Bill Gates? But God says that humble is great.

i admit. sometimes i get offended when someone whom i think is inferior to me have better positions than me. when you know you can handle something better than that person, i guess you might feel that way.

this week. i learn humility in a very special and personal way. i've always thought that humility is basically just unselfishness. hey, it requires so much more than that. so. much. more.

humility - coming to the place where you can willingly let go of your will, and let God's will be played out in your life.

thats my definition. God works in mysterious or what i call funny ways. places you in funny circumstances. with funny people. to humble you. or in other words, to break your pride.

well. i'll be frank. i've not always been humble. and i've not always walked the same path with Him. but, yeah.

thing's will be different from now on.

humility in pictures.

p/s : i look for a miracle. but sometimes i feel that i disqualify myself from one. talk to me pls, You.




=/

insects are suicidal. suicidal. suici...

kay. thing was. eventho i had pictures of seo, blogging it seemed abit. gay. and um. didn't have time lah. why? because this week is mah mid-terms babeh.

see the good thing (singular) about exams is that you have no classes on. the bad thing is, everything else.

lol. and i was on time for my maths paper the 1st day. but today i entered the freakin' wrong class #@%!%@#$@!$#! malu like COW man. NEVER in my life i would imagine me being such a noob wth. lol. never. no. bloody hell it happened to me today -.-"

this is what happened fer maths lah. exam starts at 11.30, i woke up at 11.10 in Shah Alam. and Taylors is in Subang Jaya. hallelujah! my dad rushed me to Subang, to College, and instead of asking him to pull by the guardhouse, i asked him to stop me at the sidegate which was nearer to the exam venue.

the sidegate was locked wth. so i climbed over it and ran all the way to DR2. saw the door just JUST closed when i reached there. so i went up to it, opened it, and this were the 1st few words i heard: "your reading time begins now."

LOL. wasn't late nor early. but betul betul on the dot hahah!

as fer what happened today fer my ESL exam. it suppose to start at 8.00, i reached college at 7.45, when to MPH, didn't see my class name outside, went to gallery, didn't see it as well. went to D+twenty+something, saw Ms Indra outside, told her i forgot the venue of my exam (hard to find carefree people like me) and guess what. she told me she can't remember too xD and so i ran all the way down to the office to find out, went back up, and went in. to the WRONG CLASSROOM.

opens door, told the teacher i'm from which class, and she said: "oh behind there *points to the back*" and so i walked. no farmiliar faces. made a u-turn back. all eyes on me. teacher asked again, "which class you're from again?" to cut the stupid story short, my class wasn't there. -.-" exited the room feeling so.. good.

anyways, turn out my exam venue was the class Ms Indra was standing outside (and she didn't know. heh.). so near yet so far. btw, i made it before reading time despite the stupendency i went thru.

kay wat else. oh. i had chemistry test today yay. (i'm leaving it there before i break my keyboard.)

bio tmr. physics on friday. piff.

one thing i notice near my exam seasons is stupid insects always like to kacau me. in other words, stupid insects suiciding. no photos taken as they're. too. yucky.

i remembered for common test 1, a big fly was buzzing around me while i was trying to read mah physics, so i took a pillow, slapped that buzzer. it flew and hit the ceiling xD and fell on the floor. demobilized and all. and me being so stressful and sadistic, took a lighter (i always carry one with me for self defence) and fried it. went and study, got bored, fry it again. so yeah.

and ytd while studying fer chem *breaks keyboard* lol. a mosuqitoe happily came, wanting to suck my blood. wait, before i continue, i don't understand that people that says to mosquitoe SUCK MY BLOOD actually exist in this world until i knew xxxxxxx anyways thats a different story. so came the mosquitoe, tried to kill it my clapping it in between my hands (thats what environmentalist do, cuz they're against Shieldtox xD) i missed. but the mosquitoe ended up on the floor xD dunno why. so i burned it hee. then came the second mosquitoe, yes i killed it this time. burned its remains as well. and i found myself saying 'double kill' -.-" then guess what, saw a third mosquitoe, went to it, smacked it, and missed. but it ended up on the floor as well, which i really dunno why. so mah burn it lorh. so yeah. triple kill =)

omgosh i'm actually talking about mosquitoes.

anyanyanyanyways, todays the Champion's League Final. Regardless to say we know blues the winner. (say it fast)

watch this man

heh. neways. lazy to go on. chao fer now.




p/s : joel han, if Chelsea wins, thats my birthday gift to you. but if Man Utd wins, nah, better not talk nonsense lah.




=)

Seeyou Seeoo

Today was Seo's Farewell. He left incompetent SAM for STPM.

SAM = STPM
Hence, A=TP
Adenosine Triphosphate

lol. i think its too clear for G7 that their class rep is really lame. with all the e=mcsquare (cant find the 2 for the square) to pranking the whole class all at once to i dunno la, lots more lame stuff. anyways.

G7, could yall send me some photos abt seo's farewell? =P forgot to bring me cam on that day heh. yes, i wanna blog abt seo if thats what you're thinking.

until the photos are in my com, this post will be left like that lah.

p/s : i'll be back fer editing.

Things that i do (that make you go zomg!)

lately. no, not lately. i don't know whats wrong with me. or rather this brain of mine. apart from the fact that i forget stuff (but not ppl's names) so easily, i'm accident prone and careless in so many other ways.

here's the list of smart things i did in life so far. (note that this is a post worth dying for.)

(oh. also note that there is no top stupidest thing whatsoever. because. when you're ryan. everything you do IS the stupidest.)

#1 Breaking a bottle of thinner in your bag
procedure:
1.put thinner in bag when you're in a rush
2.walk around with bag on
3.when you reached tiredness, throw bag on floor
4.rest on sofa for 10 seconds
5.stand up in freak mode
6.open the bag an say #@$@^%#$*#^&
7.throw broken thinner bottle away
8.clean books (30 minutes)

note: that the cleaning part is 6 times longer than all procedures before it.

#2 Going for physic test without your calculator
procedure:
Part A
1.get cheated into signing up for SAM at taylors
2.go to pure science (must take physics)
3.learn and study physics

Part B
1.when ready, sit for test at MPH
2.walk in hall
3.sit at appointed place
4.take out stationaries required
5.look around and notice people have calculators
6.enter freak mode
7.turn behind and ask for spare
8.thank God there is spare. (and for lindley)


#3 Playing badminton with price tag in pants
procedure:
1.go to sports shop and buy new pants
2.go to badminton court
3.wear new pants
4.play life out
5.sit in accomplice's car
6.reach accomplice's house
7.get out of car
8.feel something up your.. =)
9.put hands in pants (the rear part)
10.pull out weird stuff
11.look around to see no one saw the price tag
12.throw price tag away.
13.laugh like a nerd

note: #2 and #3 happened in the same day. lol.

#4 Getting sexually harrassed in college
procedure:
1.obtain a liverpool fan maths lecturer
2.obtain a chelsea jersey/shirt
3.watch chelsea beat liverpool (as usual)
4.walk in class the next day with Chelsea shirt on
5.put hand over teacher's shoulder and smile
6.sexual harrassment will occur automatically

note: i manage to defend myself and kept my dignity and virginity.

#5 Inflicting ulcer on gums and inner-lip (self)
procedure:
1.obtain a badminton racquet and a shuttlecock
2.hit shuttlecock against wall with racquet vigorously
3.make sure hand movements are wide
4.hit lips with racquet due to wide hand movements
5.stone for few seconds
6.don't shout because pain is overwhelming due to the big force
7.squeeze a few tears from eyes instead

note: i didn't play badminton for a month. its only natural for accidents to happen.


okay lah. i think you had enough d. if i were to go on some more, you would go beyond zomg! and will not be fwens with me. so yeah.

anyways. tmr. or rather, one minute from now, is teachers' day. (note apostrophe after s) without which i won't:

break thinner bottle in bag
stay back until 7pm++ in college
draw mugs
wrap mugs
draw more mugs
wrap more mugs
exercise with Faye around SS15 to SS14 and then to SS15 again
emcee for
conduct games for
panic for

kay lar. maybe the exercise part wasn't that bad. (eh what am i saying.)urgh. tired. happy teachers' day. wear blue.

chinese call it qi ting. but english calls it shiting. condemned toiletrolls.

p/s : uncle say that me and Faye look alike/ like siblings. of all people to compare to.




=/

will less, or willess.

warning! preachy post ahead!
if don't want to see me in a different way, you may leave. if you want to see me as in am. read.

The Awakening

its not easy. at all.

not easy at all.

you see what you want to be,

your emotion's surrendered.

your heart comforted.

your soul longing for more.

it felt so right to be there.

but its not easy.

to maintain it.

its not.

can one live a little will less?

or completely willess.

to be will less,

you surrender by choice. by will.

to be willess.

you surrender your will.

they say dead people are dangerous.

you know what?

i want to be dangerous too.

____________________________________________________________________


Philippians 1:21
For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

John 12:24
Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain.

____________________________________________________________________

is it even possible to reach that level. i don't know bout you.

but i'm going for it.

as willess i may be,

as dead i may be,

just take my will.

and make it.

Thine's.

Chelsea 3 - 2 Liverpool

i feel like an online score reader lol.

but i can't help not talking bout the match. i stayed up just to watch it, an slept at around 5.30 in the morning. and woke up at 5 in the evening lol. i is rocks.

the match was awesome lah. the extra time part was the most thrilling part as 3 goals came from just a short period of 30 minutes. it was intense match yesterday between Chelsea and Liverpool. 5 goals were scored - 2 in the duration of 90 minutes, and another 3 from extra time. here's something i picked up from times online:

5 Amazing semi-final moments (Tom Dart):

John Arne Riise scores a late own goal
Many dream of scoring in front of the Kop, though those fantasies do not go quite like this. The defender’s second own goal of the season in the 95th minute of the first leg changes the tie and is a moment of pure comedy horror, when “whack it into row Z” somehow becomes “head it into the top corner”.


Michael Essien's goal is disallowed
Chelsea are celebrating and even the scoreline on television has changed to 2-1 in the second half, but the officials have other ideas, eventually. The assistant referee has his flag raised and Drogba is penalised for blocking Reina’s view while standing in an offside position in front of the Liverpool goalkeeper.

Frank Lampard scores emotional penalty
His mother has passed away six days earlier, Ballack has scored the winner from the penalty spot in the league four days before, yet Lampard takes the ball from the German, who has been brought down by Hyypia (what is it with Liverpool’s Scandinavian defenders?) and coolly slots the ball home.

tribute to pat

Fernando Torres is taken off
With 31 goals this season and Liverpool needing to score as the clock ticks down, you might think that Benítez will replace his star striker only in the event of a truly dire injury, such as decapitation by a runaway combine harvester. Yet it is Torres, right, the Spain forward, not a defender, who is replaced.

Petr Cech is beaten by Ryan Babel
Soon after exhorting his team-mates to show more focus, the normally faultless goalkeeper fails to stop the Liverpool substitute’s firm but speculative long-range shot, caressing it into his net and causing an orgy of mass nail-biting among Chelsea fans who have just started to party.

-end-

well. it was something for Chelsea's manager Avram Grant also:

He must've prayed hard

anyways. the only thing i wasn't happy about in the whole match was Petr Cech letting in the goal from Ryan Babel. so much for being on guard. rawr.

and now,

moscow awaits =D

anyways, not much update on life. its routine and boring.

oh. engrish pic of the day:

i swear its true.

p/s : see vid? i didn't complain about SAM.

pp/s : SAM sucks!! (couldn't contain it. sorry lol.)



=D