Things that i do (that make you go zomg!)

lately. no, not lately. i don't know whats wrong with me. or rather this brain of mine. apart from the fact that i forget stuff (but not ppl's names) so easily, i'm accident prone and careless in so many other ways.

here's the list of smart things i did in life so far. (note that this is a post worth dying for.)

(oh. also note that there is no top stupidest thing whatsoever. because. when you're ryan. everything you do IS the stupidest.)

#1 Breaking a bottle of thinner in your bag
procedure:
1.put thinner in bag when you're in a rush
2.walk around with bag on
3.when you reached tiredness, throw bag on floor
4.rest on sofa for 10 seconds
5.stand up in freak mode
6.open the bag an say #@$@^%#$*#^&
7.throw broken thinner bottle away
8.clean books (30 minutes)

note: that the cleaning part is 6 times longer than all procedures before it.

#2 Going for physic test without your calculator
procedure:
Part A
1.get cheated into signing up for SAM at taylors
2.go to pure science (must take physics)
3.learn and study physics

Part B
1.when ready, sit for test at MPH
2.walk in hall
3.sit at appointed place
4.take out stationaries required
5.look around and notice people have calculators
6.enter freak mode
7.turn behind and ask for spare
8.thank God there is spare. (and for lindley)


#3 Playing badminton with price tag in pants
procedure:
1.go to sports shop and buy new pants
2.go to badminton court
3.wear new pants
4.play life out
5.sit in accomplice's car
6.reach accomplice's house
7.get out of car
8.feel something up your.. =)
9.put hands in pants (the rear part)
10.pull out weird stuff
11.look around to see no one saw the price tag
12.throw price tag away.
13.laugh like a nerd

note: #2 and #3 happened in the same day. lol.

#4 Getting sexually harrassed in college
procedure:
1.obtain a liverpool fan maths lecturer
2.obtain a chelsea jersey/shirt
3.watch chelsea beat liverpool (as usual)
4.walk in class the next day with Chelsea shirt on
5.put hand over teacher's shoulder and smile
6.sexual harrassment will occur automatically

note: i manage to defend myself and kept my dignity and virginity.

#5 Inflicting ulcer on gums and inner-lip (self)
procedure:
1.obtain a badminton racquet and a shuttlecock
2.hit shuttlecock against wall with racquet vigorously
3.make sure hand movements are wide
4.hit lips with racquet due to wide hand movements
5.stone for few seconds
6.don't shout because pain is overwhelming due to the big force
7.squeeze a few tears from eyes instead

note: i didn't play badminton for a month. its only natural for accidents to happen.


okay lah. i think you had enough d. if i were to go on some more, you would go beyond zomg! and will not be fwens with me. so yeah.

anyways. tmr. or rather, one minute from now, is teachers' day. (note apostrophe after s) without which i won't:

break thinner bottle in bag
stay back until 7pm++ in college
draw mugs
wrap mugs
draw more mugs
wrap more mugs
exercise with Faye around SS15 to SS14 and then to SS15 again
emcee for
conduct games for
panic for

kay lar. maybe the exercise part wasn't that bad. (eh what am i saying.)urgh. tired. happy teachers' day. wear blue.

chinese call it qi ting. but english calls it shiting. condemned toiletrolls.

p/s : uncle say that me and Faye look alike/ like siblings. of all people to compare to.




=/